A New Year…
a new you…
a new life…
a new career…
By Greg Dalton,
Life & Career Coach
Here’s a new approach to New Years Resolutions…GIVE
UP making those New Year’s resolutions. If you’re thinking about making
a New Years resolution or resolutions, think again… 94% of New Years resolutions
fail by the end of the first week of January!
The New Year, a great opportunity for productive change, to change the
things we’ve been meaning to change for the past number of months.
We do it every year, we set out new goals and resolutions, come up with
all sorts of wonderful ideas, yet we seem to always let ourselves down
when we’ve just about succeeded.
Every year most of us manage to trouble ourselves with commitments
to ourselves to improve something. Lose weight, get physically fit, stop
smoking, fix a relationship, make more money and so on.
What are your New Year’s resolutions this year ?
Lose weight
Stop Smoking
Set up and stick to a budget
Save or earn more money
Find a better job/new career
Become more organised
Exercise more
Be more patient at work/with others
Eat better
Become a better person
For you to succeed with your New Years resolutions you must make
them realistic and achievable. The most common reason people’s resolutions
fail is because they make them unrealistic. They make a great
start, and then fade away into oblivion.
Use Accountability… Set yourself easy (yet challenging)
goals and targets. Write them down as daily targets. Rather than saying
I’m giving up smoking for good. Become a non-smoker for a single day,
tomorrow. Then every night after that write it down again, and again.
Do it consecutively for 28 days and it’s become habitual. Think about
this, it takes 28 days to create a habit and 27 to break one.
If you become a habitual ‘non-smoker’ after 28 days you’ve cracked it.
Your new habit is ‘non-smoking’!
Tell someone close to you, your partner, or a colleague,
in fact tell them all. It’ll be much harder to fail if you have someone
watching you.
Make sure that your resolution is realistic. If you
want to run the marathon this year and you haven’t exercised for
years, change the goal; go for the mini marathon first. If you haven’t
exercised for years you’ll be delighted with your progress and will feel
much better after completing the mini marathon. You might even be
inspired to go for the marathon next year.
Common mistakes…
One of the most common reasons why we fail is that we set to high
a standard of goal(s). We don’t make them achievable for ourselves.
Typically, fad diets are an example of this… ‘Lose 14lbs in 14 days’ or
something as crazy as this. And if we go on this ludicrous diet and only
loose 8lbs in 14 days we think we’ve failed! Where as loosing 8lbs in 2
weeks is not only a mammoth achievement, but can be dangerous to
your health.
We all know that losing weight slowly over a longer period of time is
not only the safest but the most productive. Simply change the rules of
the goal, ‘Loose 14lbs in 14 weeks’ the goal is the same, but you now
are more likely to achieve your goal because you have made it realistic
within the time frame you are allowing yourself.
Stress is a disease of speed. You suffer from “time poverty” when you
can slow down the clock and reclaim your time? Have you ever had one of
those days, or weeks when, no matter what you do, nothing seems to be going
your way? Murphy’s Law eh?… Maybe your boss has just taken you to task for
overlooking a key element in the report you completed last Friday, or your
colleague has dropped the ball on getting you the contact you needed to
pursue that contract. Maybe your workload has steadily increased as your
team has shrunk from 15 to 9, and they don’t seem to be replacing anyone.
Having to deal with any of these situations is stressful enough on it’s
own, but you have other and sometimes more important personal concerns to
deal with also, what do you do? Take it on the chin, or jump ship?
Sticking with it!
So, you’ve decided, you’re sticking with
your job, even though it’s stressing you
out. What then can you do to relieve
some of the stress and make your day-today
work life more bearable maybe even
enjoyable? Take a step back to figure out
ways to improve your quality of life.
Get yourself organised, prioritise your
tasks… and get help. If you’re having
trouble juggling a multitude of projects
and activities, and it’s starting to get in on
you, take some time out to work out a list
of things to do. Number your list in order
of most important to least important.
Then tackle each task one at a time,
ticking off each completed task as you
go. (for those regular readers, the ‘eating
an elephant’ task, should ring a bell or
two) This measurement will show you
that things are under control and your
achievements so far will give you a sense
of satisfaction and help you get a handle
on your workload.
Take as many short breaks as you
can, daily. Just 10 to 20 minutes of
quiet contemplation brings some relief
from stress and will also increase your
tolerance of it. Use the time to listen
to music, relax, and simply to think of
nothing. I defy anyone not to be able to
take 10 minutes a day to themselves. If
you can’t, call me and I’ll show you how.
Deep breathing exercises during these 10
minute breaks are also a good way to ease
stress; these expel toxic wastes from your
lungs and draw in oxygen deep into your
diaphragm to cleanse your system. Inhale
through your nose and exhale through
your mouth several times slowly and fully
while sitting up in your chair with muscles
at rest and eyes closed.
In a Changing World…
Creating a healthy balance between work
and home is not such a simple task,
especially in today’s fast paced work
environment. With the work life and
home life out of balance, stress is running
high in most families. If you spend more
time at work, you lose out on your family
and personal life. Alternately, if you
spend more time facing the challenges
of your personal life, such as coping with
With the aspirations of moving up the
corporate ladder in the man-eat-man
corporate world, you work longer hours
than is healthy for you. This makes it
difficult for you to juggle the demands
of your work and family life. To take the
time out as suggested earlier will only
benefit you and your relationship with
the people who are important to you.
Here are some further suggestions to put
some sort of order in your life and create
a more balanced life for you. They will
reduce stress and help you to deal with
the ongoing challenges of modern day
society.
Track Your Activities - Keep a
log of all your activities, and delegate the
ones you do not enjoy, or that you don’t
have the time for.
Check For Flexibility - Find out
if your employer offers flexible hours
for work. This will to enable you to
cope with your personal and domestic
problems. Is working from home an
option?
Time Management - Time
management is not only for office work.
Manage your personal time at home also.
Organise to do the washing in batches
instead of doing it all at the weekend or
on your day off. Keep a weekly agenda
of family things you want to do together.
Involve your other half and kids in some
daily chores, the kids will enjoy the
involvement and won’t be fighting over
the TV channel or play-station game.
Find Ways To De-stress- Take
time out to do things that you enjoy
doing, such as going for walks, listening
to music, practicing yoga, reading, etc.
Set aside one night a week exclusively for
your partner and family. Take the phone
off the hook (it probably doesn’t ring
that often anyway), switch off the mobile
and (I dare you) the TV too, let your
combined hair down. Find activities that
will involve you and your family.
Get Enough Sleep - There is
nothing more stressful as when you are
deprived of sleep, it’s so stressful it’s
been used as torture to make people
break quicker. Take the power nap, this
will not only improve your productivity,
but protect you too. Not getting enough
sleep can cause you to commit potentially
dangerous and costly mistakes.
Seek Help – At times of stress, seek
help from professionals or from your
personal support systems. Talk to your
spouse and friends. Every one needs
help from time to time and you are no
different. Seek help if you find your life
too hectic to manage.
In the end, you need to set your
priorities. What is more important for
you, your work or your family? At the
turning point you need to decide what
is more important in your life, spending
time with your family, kids, and extended
family, or concentrating just on your
work life?
Get Back your balance
and your outlook
When your work day and week come to
an end, make sure you leave it all behind
you. Strike a healthy balance between
work and play. Pursue a fun hobby,
call over to friends, have a hot bath, do
something, or nothing at all. This will
take your mind off work and allow you to
recharge and relax.
On the other hand, if you can’t seem
to let go, talk about what you’re going
through with friends and family. Simply
sharing your feelings, and receiving
comfort and advice, can be enough to
ease some of the pressures and anxieties
you’re feeling by bringing things back into
proper perspective. If this isn’t enough,
then consider seeking the help of a
professional coach or counsellor. Do not
try to cope with your stress alone.
It goes without saying that stress affects
us all differently. What may seem
stressful to one person can be an exciting
adventure to another. Remember,
though, that becoming stressed is your
choice. You can either learn to accept
a situation (bend for others) or make
changes that will take stress out of the
situation. Whether it’s asking for help,
eating and sleeping right, exercising,
getting out more often, or developing a
work environment that keeps you calm
and collected, do what you need to do
to relax and refresh yourself, and do it
often.
It’s typically this time of year that causes
us so much stress.
As I say, if you need
help take it, contact me on 01 260 6000
or greg@Q1etc.com
where I’ll be happy
to help you regain clarity and then refocus
your life to achieve a work life
balance that suits you.
In the meantime, wishing you health and
happiness for the festivities and successes
for 2007 and beyond.
Greg Dalton, Life & Business Coach
Q1etc
David Lloyd Riverview Centre
01 260 6000
greg@Q1etc.com
